17:43 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+m] by creature 17:43 Ladies and gentlemen, 17:43 Please be less lame. 17:43 Thank you, 17:43 -- The Management. 17:43 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-m] by creature ----------------- 21:33 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+m] by creature 21:33 Gentlemen, I have a question. 21:33 It's pretty specific, so I wanted to make sure I got your attention. 21:34 I am looking for someone who has a) purchased a T shirt from the Achewood store, b) has it to hand, and c) also has a tape measure. 21:34 Thank you for your attention. 21:34 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-m] by creature ----------------- 00:27 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+m] by creature 00:27 STORY TIME. 00:27 So, a couple of weekends ago I was out cycling. It was a nice spring day, so I went out for a ride. 00:27 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+N] by zigdon 00:27 I was cycling through Chelsea when I pulled up at some traffic lights. 00:27 While I was sitting there, waiting for them to go green, a bald, middle-aged man pulled up next to me. 00:28 He was driving a cherry red, open-top Porche. With the top down. 00:28 And to top this scene off, he was listening to Coldplay. Loudly. Seemingly oblivious to the very embodiment he was of the mid-life crisis. 00:29 The moral of this story is: don't listen to Coldplay in public. People will look upon you as a horrible warning to others. 00:29 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 22:10 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+m] by creature 22:10 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+N] by creature 22:11 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+b *!*phyphor@*.convergence.cx] by creature 22:11 ωνω phyphor was kicked from #xkcd by creature (creature) 22:11 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+b *!*jercos@*.dsl.pltn13.pacbell.net] by creature 22:11 ωνω jercos was kicked from #xkcd by creature (creature) 22:11 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+b *!*Daedalus@*.hsd1.ma.comcast.net] by creature 22:11 ωνω Daedalus was kicked from #xkcd by creature (creature) 22:11 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 17:15 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 17:15 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+v drochaid] by creature 17:15 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-oha drochaid drochaid drochaid] by ChanServ 17:15 thank you creature 17:16 for those of you who knew him, morner (Simon McKernan) passed away in his sleep last night after an 8 month battle with leukemia 17:16 he took pneumonia after a mild virus in May, spent a couple of weeks unconcious and although he was appearing to recover, his motor control never regained function 17:17 I'm afraid that's all the information I have until I speak with his family 17:17 thank you. 17:17 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 17:55 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 17:55 what's this!! 17:55 :O 17:55 are the lights going down!@??! 17:55 A brief story time, on the topic of "When was the earliest time you realised you were not the smartest kid around?". 17:55 * zigdon settles down 17:55 Are we sitting comfortably? 17:56 Then I'll begin. 17:56 zigdon: twizzler? 17:56 shhh! 17:56 so it turns out she spent all her time at home gathering evidence against the conspiracy by several film studio executives to conceal the sexuality of some of their major stars. specifically, she monitored possible communication WITH those actresses, as well as building up huge databases analyzing their public appearances and dissecting discussions that supposedly dropped hints of what the cinema conspiracy was up to, and what was really going on in th 17:56 When I was a young child, about 4 years old I guess, I went to a friend's birthday party. As part of it there was this chocolate easter egg hunt where you had to find a whole bunch of small chocolate eggs in the back garden (they were about the size of maltesers). I was smart enough to absolutely do it well; I was able to figure out where an adult would hide a bunch of eggs appropriate to a 4 year old mind quite well. But I didn't trust the adults to keep them safe. 17:56 the discussion of this issue filled as much text as eight to ten king james bibles plus huge amounts of supplimentary material 17:56 and they had basically made up the *entire thing* 17:57 And so I hoarded my eggs; I kept them in my pockets and refused to give them up at the end of the hunt. I would keep them safe until the end of the party when they would be counted. 17:57 rpm: it's like a gay foucault's pendulum 17:57 * Glench settles back down 17:57 The rest of the party has faded from memory, but I think it involved your standard party things. Singing happy birthday, cake cutting, and so on. Until, gasp! Who would get the grand prize? Who had collected the most eggs. 17:58 (I am told that I got abridged earlier; "I was able to figure out where an adult would hide a bunch of eggs appropriate to a 4 year old mind quite well. But I didn't trust the adults to keep them safe.") 17:59 The eggs were counted, and the person who had collected the most had scored pitifully. I was sure, in a pompous 4 year old way, that I had out-collected him. The prize would be mine, and I asserted so. 17:59 I put my hands in my pockets to bring out my eggs so they could be counted. 17:59 Only to discover that they had all, every last one, melted into a sticky mush of chocolate and silver foil. 17:59 D: 17:59 The adults laughed, the children laughed, and the only thing I won was a pack of washing powder. 18:00 And that, boys and girls, is probably the earliest time I discovered I was not the smartest person in the room. 18:00 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 16:51 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 16:51 Picture yourself in a quiet place in which you have felt relaxed in the past (the beach, the forest, a park, your backyard, your room, or elsewhere). Imagine that you're there once more. 16:51 Breathe in deeply, hold for one count, and exhale. Repeat the word calm each time you inhale. Repeat the word down each time you exhale. 16:51 Beginning with your toes, flex, then relax those muscles. Progress to the foot, ankle, leg, and so on. 16:51 Let your thoughts drift. Allow them to come and go without intervention. 16:51 Remain calm and quiet. If possible, stay in this state for at least twenty minutes. 16:57 Open your eyes and remain quiet. Enjoy the feeling of relaxation. 16:57 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 18:06 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 18:07 Inhale slowly and deeply, filling your chest with air, counting four seconds to yourself 'One and two and three and four'. The count is to give you a nice and easy, even pace. Try to breathe as fully as you can without discomfort. Imagine your chest slowly filling with air, from your diaphragm to your collar. 18:07 When you have inhaled fully, hold your breath for another four seconds, again counting to yourself 'One and two and three and four'. This should be just a comfortable pause. Do not do it until you are blue in the face. 18:07 Exhale - but do not blow. Just let the air out through your mouth slowly saying to yourself 'Easy...easy... easy... easy.' Let out as much air as you can, down to the lower part of the lungs. Feel yourself relaxing as you do. Feel your shoulders, chest and diaphragm letting go. As you exhale, think of the tension flowing out of you. 18:08 Repeat this cycle ten times. 18:08 Now let your breathing go naturally, and pay attention to the pleasant feelings in your body. Repeat the same encouraging phrases to yourself that you did earlier. Listen to the sound of your own breath coming in and out. You will notice that the breathing is slow and deep without you having to make it that way. The exhaling will last longer - as long as an eight-count, perhaps. 18:12 Tell yourself for the rest of the day I will recall these sensations every time I tell myself 'Easy'. 18:13 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 12:51 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 12:51 Dear #xkcd, 12:51 Please chill the fuck out. 12:51 Sincerely, 12:51 -- The Management. 12:51 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 23:10 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 23:10 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+bb *!*Royall@*.nycmny.fios.verizon.net *!*david@*.dsl.snfc21.sbcglobal.net] by creature 23:10 ωνω Royall was kicked from #xkcd by creature (I suggest the rest of you knock this off too. ) 23:10 ωνω hooloo was kicked from #xkcd by creature (I suggest the rest of you knock this off too. ) 23:10 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 08:22 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 08:22 It's STORY TIME. 08:22 Right. My Dad is a mechanical engineer by training, but these days - and for many years - he works as a manager. Like, a general manager, who basically runs a factory. 08:23 A while back he was working in a place - I don't remember what they do - but they were big enough to have several machines that they'd designed in-house and had built. 08:23 Anyway, one day my Dad is called to the shop floor because one of the workers has had an accident. He gets there and finds one of the employees sitting in front of a machine, in shock, minus a finger. 08:24 He asks what happened, and apparently the guy was using the machine when he stuck his hand somewhere he shouldn't, and whoosh! Off with his finger. 08:24 Anyway, while they're waiting for an ambulance my Dad calls down the guy who designed the machine to find out what happened. 08:25 Guy gets to the machine, is told that the fellow stuck his hand in gap X and lost his finger. 08:25 "Impossible." says the designer. "That can't happen." 08:25 "... Well, it *has* happened." points out my Dad. 08:25 "No, no, no, no." insists the designer. "There are safeguards in place. Look, I'll show you." 08:26 And before anyone can stop him, the designer sticks his own hand in the machine, and loses his finger as well. 08:26 FIN. 08:26 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 13:04 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 13:04 It is (brief) STORY TIME. 13:05 So. I am going to a wedding this weekend. As part of this I bought a cravat (and matching hankie) from eBay. It arrived today, and very nice it is too, in a vivid blue colour. 13:05 It came pre-tied. And I was just thinking, "You know what? If I sold cravats, I'd include instructions on how to tie them." 13:05 Well, delving deep into the envelope, it does! The instructions are as follows: 13:05 Place cravat over head, hold knot and pull down on small end until the correct effect is achieved" 13:06 This is, I think, totally awesome. 13:06 FIN. 13:06 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 21:46 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 21:46 Dear #xkcd, 21:47 The enter key is not the space bar. Do not use it as such. 21:47 Lots of love, 21:47 -- The Management. 21:47 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 14:10 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 14:10 None of you are saying anything worthwhile at the moment, so I think we should all take a moment to consider that. 14:10 Just, you know, consider how IRC can be used to talk to people, and discuss, and entertain, and discourse. 14:11 And not merely do the textual equivalent of unhinging your jaw and letting it flap loose, mumbling whatever passes across your synapses like some kind of free-associating gibbon. 14:11 That is all. 14:11 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 15:46 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 15:46 Please note: When answering Stereo's question, spoilers will result in GREAT VENGEANCE and FURIOUS ANGER. 15:46 That is all. 15:46 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 16:49 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 16:49 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+v Wonderfish] by creature 16:49 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-oa Wonderfish Wonderfish] by ChanServ 16:50 If we're going to do storytime, we're going to do it properly. 16:50 I don't has I mic. 16:50 Yes you do. Tell the story. This better be good. 16:51 OK. Technically I do, but its made of fail. May I please just continue in my jesus fucking story? 16:52 IT IS 16:52 * Wonderfish looks around impatiently. 16:52 May I? 16:53 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mNv Wonderfish] by creature ----------------- 15:58 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 15:58 Dear #xkcd, 15:58 Please argue with each other in private and keep this a fluffy, fuzzy channel of joy. 15:58 Lots of love, 15:58 -- The Management. 15:58 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 18:03 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 18:04 That is quite enough love for now. 18:04 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature 18:26 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 18:26 MERE +M WON'T STOP ME 18:26 I'M INVINCIBLE! 18:26 Or at least an op. 18:26 GIVE LOVE? 18:26 GIVE LOVE! 18:26 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-o Hermiene] by zigdon 18:26 <_< 18:26 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by zigdon ----------------- 16:40 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 16:40 LET'S STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS. 16:40 shoofle: no, it's not 16:40 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 17:11 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 17:15 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 12:01 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 12:02 OK, I really didn't want to get on my high horse today, but apparently you're all asking me to saddle up. 12:02 1. The channel is about conversation. Smart conversation, ideally, but at the very least interesting/funny conversation. I think 2 pages of LOL I'M A SYMBOL LOL is quite enough. 12:03 2. Conversation is tied to an ability to discriminate identity. If you were all nicked to Bob/Beb/Bab/Bub/Bib I'd try to encourage you to switch back after a little while too. 12:04 3. The argument of "There's nothing else going on so I can be as idiotic as I like" is a fallacy from start to finish. It prevents other, more interesting conversations from starting and sets a given tone for the channel. If you don't have anything interesting to say, SHUT THE HELL UP. Silence does not have to be filled. 12:05 Oh, and by the way, if you could all knock the persecution complexes off too, that would be spiffing. There's only about 3 of you I actively dislike, and none of them are around now. Just because I think you need a kick/ban/mute/stern word doesn't mean I care in the slightest about you as a person. 12:06 I am sure you are all wonderful, intelligent human beings who should get the benefit of the doubt, and I love you all for that. 12:06 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 12:13 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 12:13 Two Christmasses ago I went to stay with her. We were having dinner one evening. The radio wasn't on; it was just us two, sitting and eating quietly. 12:14 "So, Alexander," she says to me. My mum is the only one who still calls me Alexander, by the way. "Do you have a girlfriend at the moment?" 12:14 "No, mum." I reply. "No girlfriend." 12:14 "Oh." she says, quietly. Pause. "... Or a boyfriend?" 12:14 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 15:04 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 15:04 Quite why people seem to think that an IRC channel ops are some kind of automata or black box WRT what is and isn't acceptable continues to baffle me. 15:04 The idea that "I can do X and it is fine, but if I do X+1 it is not." 15:04 People seem to want these kind of definite boundaries, and clearly demarcated areas of acceptability/unacceptibility. That's not how it works. It can't be. 15:04 It is always, always, *always* a judgement call. Sometimes the channel is quiet or noisy and that makes something OK; sometimes the context changes it, or makes it really funny; sometimes people just aren't here to catch your idiocy/homophobia/spamming/etc. 15:04 So try to accept that just because you've done something in the past, or seen someone else do something, it doesn't mean it's always going to OK. 15:04 If you really want a guideline, I don't think anyone's ever got kicked for being as smart/witty/interesting as possible. 15:04 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 14:21 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 14:21 Breathe in. Breathe out. 14:22 Everything is going to be OK. 14:22 If you would like to talk to the bots, use #bots or #bucket. 14:22 If you would like to talk about the bots, then #bots or #bucket is the place for you. 14:22 If you would like to poke the bots randomly, the #bots or #bucket should be your destination. 14:22 Breathe in. Breathe out. 14:22 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-b *!~imaginary@6F2D73A6:D465BA69:1E2BBBE:IP] by billygoat 14:22 Enjoy the silence. 14:24 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 17:46 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+m] by creature 17:46 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+N] by creature 17:46 Quiet time, I think. 17:48 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 12:19 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 12:19 GUYS I THINK I SEE A SOLUTION. 12:19 ωνω Topic for #xkcd: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yq7ZUpDmzE4 D: | it is now tell us what you're ingesting hour in #xkcd | ONE CHANNEL, ONE MIND | stickam! room/pw #xkcd/randall | remibbit is fail :( | #xkcd on any computer or even on the go http://tinyurl.com/XKCDwebirc | #xkcd Nights: Raw, Unfiltered, Uncensored. Rated MA. 12:19 ωνω Topic set by Potassium The-Rabid-@hide-91CFB8DF.cable.telstraclear.net [Tue Mar 10 08:47:51 2009] 12:20 ωνω creature changed the topic of #xkcd to: Remember: be nice to each other. | http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yq7ZUpDmzE4 D: | it is now tell us what you're ingesting hour in #xkcd | ONE CHANNEL, ONE MIND | stickam! room/pw #xkcd/randall | remibbit is fail :( | #xkcd on any computer or even on the go http://tinyurl.com/XKCDwebirc | #xkcd Nights: Raw 12:22 Thank you for your attention. This was a demonstration of the concept "What if I could choose who should get ignored by the entire channel? Then what if that was taken to an extreme conclusion?" 12:22 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 13:23 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 13:23 It can never be too quiet. 13:23 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 13:32 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 13:33 I just wanted to take a moment to observe and reflect that the channel considers a conversation about human rights abuses and the cultural clashes that dramatically different religions 'boring' and 'dumb', but 'I like chips that are crunchy' is the paragon of interest. 13:33 That is all. 13:33 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 14:46 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 14:46 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+b *!*@*.carlnfd1.nsw.optusnet.com.au] by creature 14:46 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 00:33 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 00:33 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+bb ~q:*!relsqui@hide-5D10B81C.peeron.com ~n:*!relsqui@hide-5D10B81C.peeron.com] by zigdon 00:33 <3 flyingferret 00:33 That plan backfired, didn't it. 00:33 Pungent_Liquid: ...you really think that will stop us kicking everyone? 00:33 or muting the channel, I suppose 00:33 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 12:54 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 12:54 \o/ 12:54 \o/ 12:55 '-o-' 12:55 I'm actually not sure what that one is 12:55 I think it's someone pretending to be a plane. 12:56 Oooh, ooh! It's a cow-buffalo thing! Those are horns. 12:56 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+v SteamPoweredCat] by snark 12:56 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-oha SteamPoweredCat SteamPoweredCat SteamPoweredCat] by ChanServ 12:56 just don't say anything inane 12:56 i do often and hard. 12:56 creature: I was thinking maybe it's the same guy as \o/ but from above 12:56 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-v SteamPoweredCat] by snark 12:56 ah well 12:56 Dare to dream, snark. Dare to dream. 12:57 * creature sighs. 12:57 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 23:48 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 23:49 Knock it off. 23:49 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 00:29 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 00:29 Dear sirs, 00:30 julian: if the ops say to stop, stop 00:30 Please consider a house party. If I find you fucking on my kitchen counter, and say to you "Don't defile my work surfaces - go rut in the bedroom instead," I am not stopping you having sex. I am moving the location of the act. 00:30 It would behoove you to consider the applications of this metaphor on IRC. 00:30 Yours sincerely, 00:30 – The Management. 00:31 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 17:04 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 17:04 ωνω Overflow was kicked from #xkcd by creature (Don't do that. ) 17:04 ωνω Spi_Waterwing was kicked from #xkcd by creature (Don't do that. ) 17:04 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature 17:17 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 17:18 We were completely free of actual content ('signal', if you will), I thought I'd make it official. 17:18 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 16:06 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+m] by creature 16:07 I refuse to watch this conversation degenerate into a string of pseudorandom numbers. Silence is preferable. 16:08 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-m] by creature ----------------- 23:13 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 23:14 Dear #xkcd, 23:14 I insist that each of you gain at least 15 IQ points right now before going any further. 23:14 Many thanks, 23:14 β€” The Management. 23:14 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 10:57 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 10:57 It is STORY TIME. 10:57 \o/ 10:57 So. Last night I went to a gig. Frontier Ruckus, since you ask. They're a small Americana-ish indie folk band. Worth seeing. 10:58 Anyway, one of the things I like to do is buy a CD at shows, and then get them signed. I like to have a souvenir of the shows, especially as most of them are E-tickets these days. 10:59 A few times before I've done this, and found myself not being able to recognise the band in the crowd afterwards. It's surprisingly hard, even with a 3-piece group. And it's quite embarrassing to have to go up to someone and be all "I know you were just in front of me for an hour and a half, but I'm not quite sure if you were playing..." 10:59 So, these days I make sure to pull out a few characteristics of each band member, to assist in identification later. Frontier Ruckus are a 6-piece, so I had my work cut out for me. 11:00 So at the end of the show I went and bought my CD, and started tracking down each member of the band. I was doing fine, but I was missing two people: the drummer, and the guy on trumpet/singing saw. 11:00 storytime langly, don't be an ass 11:00 The singing saw chap had on a red and blue stripey top, and horn-rimmed glasses. Easy, right? I saw him at the bar doing shots with a bunch of friends. So I went and hovered briefly, then jumped in. 11:01 "Hi, I just wanted to say I enjoyed your music, and was wondering if I could trouble you for a signature." 11:01 "Sure" he says, and looks at what's in my hand. He sees the CD. 11:01 "Thanks very much," I gush. 11:01 "Erm, I wasn't playing tonight," he says. 11:02 Just stop and reflect for a minute on how AWKWARD that was for me, for him, and for the circle of people doing shots. 11:02 The moral of the story is: if I'd remembered that the guy with the saw also had a beard, I would have been fine. THREE POINTS OF REFERENCE from here on out. 11:02 -FIN- 11:02 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature 12:31 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 12:31 lingrush! 12:31 Look, you fucks, we've got a good discussion about career paths and degrees and the big wide world. 12:31 Let's not piss all over it with a bunch of OMG KITTENS LOL. 12:31 We can do that later. 12:31 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 17:18 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 17:18 Dear #xkcd, 17:19 1. Please don't do multi-line pastes. A link is better. 17:19 __ _ 17:19 __ _ / _| |_ 17:19 / _` | |_| __| 17:19 | (_| | _| |_ 17:19 \__, |_| \__| 17:19 2. Please try to get one sentence per line. Don't split up your thoughts over multiple lines. Stick them together into one cohesive whole. 17:19 |_| 17:19 3. Please try not to get all "STFU, NOOB". Be nice to people. 17:19 Many thanks, 17:19 zergrush! 17:19 β€” The Management. 17:19 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 16:43 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 16:43 Well done. You have learnt to permute. 16:43 You have levelled up! Your challenge for this level is 'generate original, interesting content.' 16:43 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 18:57 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 18:57 Dear #xkcd, 18:57 Please calm the fuck down. Someone was a jackass earlier, was banned for it. They are now unbanned. This is how the world works. 18:57 In summary: don't be hatin'. 18:57 Lots of love, 18:57 -- The Management. 18:57 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 13:29 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 13:29 Frowardd: sounds like last night with your mother 13:29 So. A friend of mine is a professional masseuse. I managed to injure my back a little a while back, and she offered to give me a massage to help with it. 13:30 Now, I am kind of into this girl. Not a lot, but a little. Enough to make the prospect of undressing in front of her unnerving. 13:30 "Don't worry!" said my friends. "She's a professional. I'm sure she's seen worse." 13:30 And isn't that what every man dreams of? To remove his clothes in front of an attractive woman, and have her think, "I've seen worse." ? 13:30 That is all. 13:30 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 15:36 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 15:36 but, i mean, sorry, we've all seen your adolescent sniggering misogyny in the locker room before; you're not actually transgressing any boundaries by going "LOL BIG BLACK DICKS RAPE RAPE RAPE A WHITE WOMAN" 15:36 I am using executive privilege to draw a line under this entire discussion before we get into the metadissection of the previous scenario, along with who said what and why and how they reacted. 15:37 i wouldn't call it offensive on moral grounds, the way ShortWave has; i'd call it offensive on aesthetic terms, because you're bad at telling jokes but so high on your own sexual aggressiveness that you don't know you're bad a....hi, uh, hi creature 15:37 So let's just move on and go back to talking about Flex and javascript and dogs and saltines. 15:37 i have a final comment 15:37 before you unmute 15:38 I think khmer and I are broadly in agreement. The rule is: no rape jokes. 15:38 The channel rules have a rule about "... unless it's really funny" applying to all of them, and that's no different here. 15:38 Now, back to khmer in the studio. Khmer? 15:39 everyone: http://xrl.us/be9i5w 15:39 that's all 15:39 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by khmer ----------------- 12:58 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 12:59 I want more text on one line, not less. Don't split the same sentence over multiple lines. If you're going for gold, you can put multiple related sentences on one line, or multiple related thoughts on one line. Like I did here. 12:59 You can also post something, and then your thoughts about that something. I like that too. 12:59 Generally, you are looking to give the impression of a thoughtful, engaged conversation partner. Someone who reads, digests, and responds thoughtfully. 13:00 As opposed to someone who just unhinges their jaw and lets words tumble out like an unorganised stream-of-consciousness vomit. 13:00 Thus endeth the sermon on how to talk. 13:00 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 16:19 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 16:19 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+v ged] by creature 16:20 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-oha ged ged ged] by ChanServ 16:20 the PM decided the Steering Committee needed to make the decision, so we had a nice big meeting 16:20 Everyone immediately agreed that the feature was good and desirable 16:20 The remaining 50 minutes were spend arguing about whether we could afford the time to implement it. 16:21 And, during that 50 minutes, I added the feature, ran the test suite, and deployed the revised solution to production. 16:21 *THAT* is agile 16:21 as opposed to "Agile" 16:21 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 12:58 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 12:58 STORY TIME. 12:58 Around a year ago I was at a zoo, and there was one pen with llamas and one pen with camels. My friend was standing with me right next to a camel, and looking at the llamas across the path with some aversion. 12:59 "What's wrong?" I asked her. "I don't like llamas," she says. "They spit." 12:59 I looked at her, at the camel standing right next to us, and back to her. 12:59 "Erm, you know camels spit too, right? They're much more famous for it than llamas." 13:00 I can't describe the look on her face as she realised she was surrounded by expectorating ungulates, but it was most entertaining to watch her make a run for it. 13:00 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 13:38 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 13:39 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 17:28 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 17:28 Calm down. Breathe in. Breathe out. There is no need to get angry over a simple misunderstanding. Take a step back, count to 10, etc. 17:28 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 12:39 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 12:40 Let me remind me of what your mothers told you: if you don't have anything nice to say, shut the fuck up. 12:40 Also, let me remind *you* of that too. 12:40 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 01:00 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 01:00 Q. How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? 01:00 A. Poke him on. 01:00 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 13:55 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 13:55 Dear #xkcd, 13:55 Please. No editor wars. Ever. 13:55 Lots of love, 13:55 -- The Management. 13:55 PS. Vim is better than Emacs. 13:55 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 12:42 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 12:42 Dear #xkcd, 12:43 We went over this yesterday. You are talking about a puzzle game that has only just come out. Some people haven't played it yet. 12:43 It's a puzzle game. The fun is in finding solutions to the puzzles. It's also fun to explore the object database. 12:43 So try not to spoil it for others by posting your solutions or object suggestions. Use a side-channel, PM, or Gamefaqs instead. 12:43 Lots of love, 12:43 -- The Management. 12:43 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 18:29 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 18:29 "The ops will always try to make reasonable decisions with the goal of preventing channel from sucking. The reason we're ops is that we've been judged to be good at this, and most of the time we are. If you don't think we're doing it right, private message the op in question to discuss it. If that doesn't work, private message any other op." 18:29 The above is taken from http://www.xkcdb.com/channelrules/ . You're expected to be familiar with it. 18:30 a corollary to that: Don't Be A Dick. 18:30 Nowhere on that page does it say "Bloviate at length about it in the main channel." This is not an accidental omission. 18:31 So, let's go back to talking about Other Things, because there's nothing I hate more than 15 minute discussions about 5 minute bans. They never go anywhere anyway, and everyone ends up thinking everyone else is a dick. 18:31 That is all. I still love you, I promise. 18:31 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 16:49 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 16:49 Dear sirs, 16:49 1. There is a difference between Bucket and Flyingferret. 16:50 2. There is a lovely side-channel called #bots for this stuff. Please use it. 16:50 Lots of love, 16:50 -- The Management. 16:50 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 11:57 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 11:58 Just because we're firing a GIANT FUCKING ROCKET into the COCKING MOON it doesn't mean you have a license to capslock and whoop like a coyote on meth. That is all. 11:58 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 13:01 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 13:01 Look. Someone posted a NSFW link without attribution. An op asked them not to do it again. 13:01 That's it. Discussion over. 13:02 We don't all need to chortle into our beards and chastise the original poster further. 13:02 Let's just move along. 13:02 Lots of love, 13:02 -- The Management. 13:02 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 15:24 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 15:24 attn all: 15:24 CANNONBALL 15:24 op lounge time 15:25 I just needed a break from the vapidity. 15:25 so, how have you guys been? 15:25 I'm good! How are you? 15:25 not bad, though I've got a beast of a back ache 15:25 i've been trying to overcome my bottomless depthss of shyness and failing 15:25 this damned futon I've been sleeping on gives my spine absolutely no support 15:25 If you had two backs, you could have the beast with two backaches. 15:25 wouldn't that be a pain 15:25 times two! 15:26 You know, I never really rated backs, and thought people complaining of back pain were a bunch of whiners. And then I injured mine earlier this year, and was in agony, and couldn't walk. So now I no longer think that. 15:26 So, look after your back. You need it. 15:27 Anyway. I thank you for this brief oasis of calm. 15:28 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 13:00 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 13:00 Dear #xkcd, 13:01 Your IRC client will almost certainly have an ignore feature. If you don't like someone, you should use it – quietly – and move on. 13:01 Grousing in the channel and firing off snide remarks is not becoming. 13:02 Remember what your mother told me in bed last night: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. 13:02 Lots of love, 13:02 -- The Management. 13:02 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 12:30 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 12:30 Dear #xkcd, 12:30 I know you have the attention span of a gnat, but please try and write in full sentences. Don't break one thought over multiple lines. 12:30 If you're feeling particularly flash you can write two sentences on one line, like I did above. 12:31 Your ops and other readers will thank you. 12:31 Lots of love, 12:31 -- The Management. 12:31 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 17:33 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 17:34 You know why. 17:35 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 01:34 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 01:34 ------------------------------ 01:34 Hey! Look at that! All the Twilight roleplay and satire is above that line! 01:35 Isn't that amazing? 01:35 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 13:14 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 13:15 To get the proper tone of this intermission, please open up this YouTube video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcCHRW8G9yY 13:16 #xkcd is currently experiencing some neural problems. Please stand by. 13:17 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature 19:07 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 19:07 STORYTIME. 19:08 OK, so, a few years back I was dating this girl, L. I'd picked up a copy of Amelie, as I'd heard it was good and the soundtrack had a collaboration with Neil Hannon on it. That's all I knew. 19:08 But it seemed like a good film, so myself and L decided to make a night of it. We had dinner, made some popcorn, and settled down on her bed to watch it. 19:08 She had a big double bed, with a TV on a shelf in the wardrobe at the other end of the room. 19:09 We watched the film. Finally, after an hour and a half, we got to the end of it. As the credits rolled, and I sniffled quietly to myself from the emotional ending, L turned to me and said, "So what was the point of all that, then?" 19:09 At that point I knew our relationship was irrevokably doomed. 19:09 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 00:42 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 00:42 Do try and make some sense, and not just rattle off whatever piffle comes to mind. #xkcd is not #freeassociation. 00:42 Many thanks, 00:42 -- The Management. 00:42 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature ----------------- 16:23 ωνω mode/#xkcd [+mN] by creature 16:23 Dear #xkcd, 16:24 If you have are not an op, and you don't like someone else's behaviour, don't bring it up in the main channel. Either PM them privately about it, or PM an op. 16:24 Similarly, if you have a problem with something an op does, PM them about it. Don't grouse about it in the main channel. 16:24 This is partially to avoid drama, partially out of respect, partially to avoid pile-ons, but mostly because it's fucking boring. 16:24 Many thanks. 16:24 Lots of love, 16:24 -- The Management. 16:25 ωνω mode/#xkcd [-mN] by creature -----------------